No, you’re not, you’re a pike, caught by my pal in Catford. Muhaydin Mire, on the other hand, is a Muslim, who went machete Jihad in Leytonstone the other day.
The UK is ruled by a sinister cabal of Old Etonian NWO oligarchs, led by Illuminati puppet, David Cameron. Cameron has stated on social media that the Leytonstone Machete Muslim is not a Muslim.
Cameron may, or may not, be related to Stephen Fry.