What do you need to go on a snake hunt? A knife might come in handy, so take one. Take a hat, too, to keep the scorching April sun off your head. Wear boots, as an extra layer of protection against the sharp fangs of the snakes and vicious Texan thorns. But what about a gun?
A Hat
Yes, you’ll need one. I chose a battered Mossberg 12 gauge pump. OK, it’s not a fancy-pants, Ivy League, boarding school, Illuminati elite, Country Club double, but so what? It gets the job done.
Spot the Space Junk
Now that you’re loaded for snake, set off and check out the serpentzone. I poked around in a pile of space junk that I knew a rattlesnake was fond of. How did I know? Because I saw it there the other day, with GWB. No luck. Next, peer down into a small ravine and gaze at the clear water of its creek. Tranquil, that’s for sure, but still no snake.
So Where’s the Snake?
Don’t give up, like a beaten army, scout along a treeline and observe various animal bones while looking for Indian artifacts, maybe there’ll be a snake. No, there wasn’t; there were plenty of wild flowers, most attractive, but still no snake. Perhaps the snakes will be at the Beach, I thought, after all, they love water. Especially Water Moccasins. 
The Beach. Watch out for Snakes
Alright, go to the beach and look in wonder at the height of the water, chances are there’ll be a snake. They do, in fact, like to congregate in places like the Beach, so if you’re thinking of using this snake hunt as a guide, be careful when knocking about the shorelines of snaky tanks, I was. Regardless, the serpents were hiding, unlike the frogs which were in abundance.
Snake Territory
I called it a day after the Beach and counted it a successful armed stroll through the Texan countryside. And there’s nothing wrong with that. At all.
As I write this serpentine wisdom, big lightning fills the eastern night sky like an artillery barrage, but it’s silent so far.
Your Pal,