Listen up, you lot. It’s the Feast of the Ascension today so you’d better get to Mass. Here’s a prayer, and none of your newfangled nonsense, either:

GRANT, we beseech thee, Almighty God, that like as we do believe thy only-begotten Son our Lord Jesus Christ to have ascended into the heavens; so we may also in heart and mind thither ascend, and with him continually dwell, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.

It’s also Cinco de Mayo and the commemoration of Mexico’s great victory over the Frenchmen. I’d say that was cause enough for a double celebration.
God bless,