The Brazos river crested today at a record breaking 54 feet, leaving homes in the Houston area flooded and whole neighborhoods surrounded by a swirling dystopia of snakes and suchlike waterborne trash. 
Typical Houston Street Scene
What caused this aquatic catastrophe? Failure to pay a carbon tax to our globalist elite overlords; refusal to ride the rainbow and turn the state’s schools into a rainbow-riding, trans free for all? Or maybe divine displeasure at Houston’s Pink Stasi Mayor?
A Proper Little Fighter
I drove to the Brazos to find out. It was in full flood and I cast off into the torrent via the rain. Three Hybrids and one small Widemouth later, I still wasn’t any closer to winning the War on Weather but I was holding my own against the fish.
Shoot The Monkey
In related news, a monkey threatened to kill a child at a zoo and was shot. Some people are calling this “murder.” Those people are clearly insane.
Your Friend,