Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to be on retreat, but it’s not very safe because we’re not allowed to defend ourselves.
Shia LaBeouf
There you are, quietly saying your prayers when up pops Shia LaBeouf with a pump action and takes the Rural Dean hostage, all the while screaming “he will not divide us!” 
Churchill’s Back
You, steady as Winston Churchill’s bust in the Oval Office, tell the deranged performance artist that he’s “not allowed to bring a firearm onto the premises”  and had “better cut it out.” Lawless  millionaire socialist Shia then proceeds to go postal. Disaster.
Looks Safe, Isn’t Safe
Think, that nightmare scenario would have been averted if a few good men had been armed and knew how to use their weapons. But no, the Jesuits are intent on making their rural Texan haven unsafe in the name of safety.
Such casuistry.