It starts off innocently enough, at least on the surface. A few hundred hippies in a field saying no to a pipeline and pretending they’re Red Indians. And why do hippies always like to imagine they’re cowboys and Indians?
Whatever, there they are in a field in Dakota, building wigwams, making bead jewelry, chanting “water is sacred”, there’s a little dancing, some petty thieving, the usual. Then more hippies find out about the freak camp and turn up for the action.
The Indians aren’t too pleased about this, partly because the hippies are stealing all their food and also because the freaks are trashing the land with their garbage. Think 10,000 hippies, if you dare, and you’ll get the picture. Not nice and it gets worse.
Before you know it, Susan Sarandon appears. Sarandon’s 85 years old but looks younger because of hippy magic, but even magic can’t take care of the waste of thousands of hippies who have fallen on the land like a plague of filthy locusts.
Finally the plug’s pulled on the NoDAPL protest leaving 250 truckloads of trash to be removed from the site before it contaminates the local water supply, and authorities are searching for dead bodies amidst the garbage.
Moral of the story? Apart from drill, drill, drill, never, ever, let hippies onto your land. They’ll destroy it. The same goes for Susan Sarandon. For detailed analysis see here.
Your Old Pal,